| (no subject) |
[Nov. 26th, 2009|08:05 am] |
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Please please please tell me this isn't real. What we have is so amazing, don't let us slip away, please God, please. Fix it. I can't live without him. |
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| SAYONARA |
[Sep. 25th, 2009|06:44 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  excited | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | TaySwift | ] |
Tokyo October 4th. ♥
Deuces, America! |
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| LASJFLKADJF |
[Aug. 23rd, 2009|04:46 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cranky | ] |
Thanks so much for being an even bigger bitch than I remembered. I've been dis-invited to Jeremie's 21 run.
GET OVER IT.
Now I just want to show up to piss YOU off and ruin YOUR evening, just like you ruined my plans for thursday. But I won't, because I love J and I wouldn't disrespect him like that.
The only person who would feel "uncomfortable" would be you. I see the past year has done wonders for your maturity level.
eat shit. |
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| Come with me, my love, to the sea of love |
[Jul. 6th, 2009|09:58 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | bed | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  busy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Cat Power | ] |
I went home for the first time since Christmas. I didn't expect it to be so hard, but it was. Traffic was awful coming into Astoria, so I was stuck staring at the turn-off to Patrick's house. I started laughing when I felt the tears coming, because I know how silly it is. Crying at a fucking street sign. pussy...
I talked with your uncle Art while him and Penny were over for dinner. He told me every detail of your last few hours here, and how much of a shock this came. You were supposed to be going home. No one saw it coming. I suppose you never do when someone dies before their 25th birthday, eh? I was going thru old clothes when I found my homemade "LTF" tank top, hahaha. I thought I was so badass.
I miss you so much, Pat. My mom gave me these beautiful pictures of you, and I'll keep them close always. I wish I could have made it home for your show, I'm sure it was amazing.
_________
Tats is back in Japan for the next 11 days, ugh. I know we are strong, but 4,000 miles will put a strain on anyone. This is the price I pay for having an absolutely perfect boyfriend, haha. His job will keep him on the other side of the world...
In other news: The house that Jess, Sabrina, Ari and I signed on is CRAZY. I cannot believe it is ours!!!!! Gorgeous Craftsman in Greenlake, two blocks from the lake. It's incredible! At least moving will keep my mind off of Tats being away. Gotta stay positive :)
love love |
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| Nothing seems appropriate for this post... |
[May. 16th, 2009|07:19 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | couch. | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  numb | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Kaddisfly | ] |
I couldn't figure out why my mom kept calling me during my meeting this morning. Then I called her back and it all made sense.
Patrick died.
The boy who stole my heart at Easter brunch when I was 13, the guy who gave me all of my tattoos, the one I spent so many hours driving down the coast with. Patrick was the first boyfriend I had who accepted me for who I was, not someone I wasn't. All my flaws, and weird habits, he embraced and loved.
I remember trying to find the guts to tell him that I "really really liked" him when I was 14...and he was so kind when he shot me down, haha. Low and behold, 3 years later we would run into each other at a football game while I was cheering, and quickly become friends again. We made cookies on our first date! And he made a point to get vegan ingredients, since I was a vegetarian then. Before long, we were inseparable. I fell in love with his blue "marble" eyes and he called me his "Turtle". From 2004-2006, we made some incredible memories. I am lucky enough to have his artwork tattooed on me, and others can see how talented he truly was.
I love and miss you, bear. We all do.
to press on without tears is to be void of love
as pupils we will grow
and lessons will be received
and we will someday all agree on life and understanding
and then finally learn
in this life or the next
why some days are so big, and most costs are so small
don't live in life lost |
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| "I'll Be Your Friend in Hell... |
[Feb. 10th, 2009|04:05 pm] |
...until then, I despise you."
I'm a very forgiving person. But not that forgiving. I've put up with this shit for way too long.
Who was I kidding thinking we could ever really be friends after what you did to me? haha. Right... |
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| Can't Keep My Hands Out the Cookie Jar |
[Jan. 31st, 2009|06:27 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  silly | ] |
UPDATE:
My 22nd birthday was perfect. I spent it with all of my best friends, minus Casey :( We went to Benihana and ate way too much. Tats got me the most beautiful Tiffany's necklace! My first piece of fine jewelry ;) it's perfect and totally "me". I don't know how I got so lucky...
Lil Wayne, T-Pain and Gym Class Heroes: INCREDIBLE!!! We had SO much fun. Definitely the best live show I've ever seen. Thank you, Tats and Tierney :)
Jessica and Joe got a puppy!!! She is adorable and we are all in love with her. Especially Lucas ;) she's a baby Pomeranian, so she looks like a miniature version of my dog. She is a monster though, don't let her cute face fool you...
Tonight, Kelsey and I are cooking treats for the Superbowl! Yay. I haven't gotten to watch Superbowl since I started working for AT&T, haha. We're making haystacks, brownies, and lil smokies.
My dad was in Tukwila for a medical conference last week. Tats and I had dinner with him, and took him to the movies. I met up with dad by myself the last night he was in town, and we had a really good talk. He told me, "I really like Tats. He has a great head on his shoulders and it's about time you found someone who treats you right." I love my daddy!
My mom and aunt are coming up in a couple weeks and I am so excite! We're having a "mom's weekend". Should be fun :)
The next few months are going to be very interesting. Depending on which offer Tats takes, we could be in: Boston, London, Seattle, L.A., or TOKYO (WHATTTT crazy!!). I have never been so excited/scared/anxious in my entire life. This relationship is such an adventure :P
I am nannying on all of my days off now. My schedule is as follows:
AT&T - M, T, TH, S, SU
NANNY - W, F
Yesterday was my first day off in 3 weeks. I also went back for my follow-up appointment with the UW Neurology Clinic. It went very well, and I don't have Multiple Sclerosis OR Diabetes!!! hoooraayyy. They really couldn't explain the episodes I was having, so I'm basically just a freak of nature.
That's pretty much it....work is horribly slow due to our shit economy; thank God for my automatic hourly raise every 6 months.
That is all.
bai-bai. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 8th, 2009|09:10 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  drained | ] |
Why doesn't lj let you view your "friends" older entries? As in, older than last week.
meh. Work sucks. Someone find me a different job. Either I'm losing my patience, or customers are just getting more rude. My boss is mean. I feel worthless when he's around.
BUT-
Japan is amazing. I want to move there. I want to move and teach English and have adorable half-Japanese babies.
Tatchan...I love you.
I turned 22 two days ago. yippee. |
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| Music is my beach house... |
[Nov. 3rd, 2008|07:40 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | BED, mmm | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  bored | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | everythang | ] |
Music I'm currently loving on:
Let's Get It - "Duck, Duck, Grey Goose"
Tickle Me Pink - "Madeline"
Uness - "Taste Your Heartbeat"
The Hit - "Once They Leave"
David Archuleta - "Crush"
Natasha Bedingfield - "Angel"
The Stills - "Retour a Vega"
Stereophonics - "Maybe Tomorrow"
Meiko - "Hawaii"
The Almost - "Amazing, Because It Is"
The Almost (feat. Kenny & Aaron from TSL) - "Yule Be Sorry"
The Almost - "Southern Weather" (SO GOOD!!!!!!)
More Amor - "Same Damn Song"
More Amor - "Hey Lover"
The Cool Kids - "I (Mikey) Rock"
Lupe Fiasco - "Paris, Tokyo"
Motion City Soundtrack - "Fell In Love Without You" (BOMB!) |
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| Let's go to sleep in Paris, wake up in Tokyo.. |
[Oct. 27th, 2008|06:21 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  ecstatic | ] |
I'm going to Tokyo!!!!!!!!!
December 8-13. "Early 22nd-birthday present" THANK YOU SO MUCH, BABY! I'm meeting Tats's family, and I couldn't be more excited. ahhhhhh!!! |
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| The Prince and the Princess. |
[Oct. 21st, 2008|08:56 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  naughty | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Jawbreaker - "Shirt" | ] |
I'm falling in love.
That's all I have to post because that's all I can think about. He is all I can think about. He's in my head all the time, and I'm in his. I haven't felt this way in years.
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| AHH |
[Oct. 3rd, 2008|10:36 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  frustrated | ] |
LSKJDLGJLSIUDGIOUSOEUW$()E*%()@#*()%RUSKLJDGKLSJDGILJSDLGJSDLGJ
I'm so confused. |
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| To be perfectly honest...I'm a liar. |
[Sep. 28th, 2008|02:44 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sleepy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Lady Antebellum | ] |
I stole these from a livejournal community ("literary quotes"). Good stuff.
"I knew it was all over. I was lost. From this moment on, it would be a touching, an eating of foods, a learning of language and algebra and logic, a movement and an emotion, a kissing and a holding, a whirl of feeling that caught and sucked me drowning under. I knew I was lost forever now, and I didn't care. But I did care, and I was laughing and crying all in one, and there was nothing to do about it, but hold her and love her with all my decided and rioting body and mind."
- Ray Bradbury, "One Timeless Spring"
"We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered."
- Tom Stoppard, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead
"I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think. Was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is 'Who in the world am I?' Ah, that's the great puzzle!" - Alice in Wonderland :)
"It was a blonde. ...Whatever you needed, wherever you happened to be--she had it." - ?
"Even though that lightning attack lasted only three minutes, it left its mark on him. He spoke of it as one might of a religious experience, a visitation or vision, any rupture into this life from beyond that cannot be described in words. "Sometimes I think I dreamed it," he told us, recalling the voracity of those hundred mouths that had sucked out his juice in the dark, and even though he went on to enjoy an enviable love life, Trip Fontaine confessed it was all anticlimactic. Never again were his intestines yanked with such delectable force, nor did he ever again feel the sensation of being entirely wetted by another's saliva. "I felt like a stamp," he said [...] "Most people never taste that kind of love," he said, taking courage amid the disaster of his life. "At least I tasted it once, man." - Jeffrey Eugenides, The Virgin Suicides
"I've been waiting so long I've been looking for perfection. That makes it tough."
"Waiting for the perfect love?"
"No, even I know better than that. I'm looking for selfishness, perfect selfishness. Like, say, I tell you I want to eat strawberry shortbread. And you stop everything you're doing and run out and buy it for me. And you come back out of breath and get down on your knees and hold this strawberry shortbread out to me. And I say I don't want it any more and throw it out of the window. That's what I'm looking for."
"I'm not sure that has anything to do with love."
"It does. You just don't know it. There are times in a girl's life when things like that are very important."
"Things like throwing strawberry shortbread out of the window?"
"Exactly. And when I do it I want the man to apologize to me. 'Now I see, Midori. What a fool I've been! I should have known that you would lose your desire for strawberry shortbread. I have all the intelligence and sensitivity of a piece of donkey shit. To make it up to you, I'll go out and buy you something else. What would you like? Chocolate mousse? Cheesecake?'"
"So then what?"
"So then I give him all the love he deserves for what he's done."
"Sounds crazy to me."
"Well, to me, that's what love is. Not that anyone can understand me though."
- Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood
"Pan, who and what art thou?" Hook cried huskily.
"I'm youth, I'm joy," Peter answered at a venture. "I'm a little bird that has broken out of the egg." - Peter Pan
"Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"
"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the Cat.
"I don't much care where---" said Alice.
"Then it doesn't matter which way you go," said the Cat.
"----so long as I get somewhere," Alice added as an explanation.
"Oh you're sure to do that," said the Cat, "if only you walk long enough." - Alice in Wonderland
"One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes." - Le Petit Prince
"Sometimes, people are beautiful.
Not in looks.
Not in what they say.
Just in what they are." - Markus Zusak, I Am the Messenger
...more to come! |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 23rd, 2008|05:02 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Work | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  mellow | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | The Little Stars | ] |
With summer coming to an end, I've been reflecting on how much has changed (myself included) over the past 4 months.
I lived in a frat for three months. I lost two best friends, each for completely different circumstances. I went thru the worst episode of depression ever. I almost moved home, in a last-ditch effort to be happy. I made my first appointment with a psychologist. My mom almost died. I finally realized that people rarely ever change for the better.
I turned everything around.
I got my puppy, Lucas. I went camping with my best friends and my pup. I made too many new friends to count. I started exercising again. I threw myself into work, and ended August with a nice $3,100 commission check. I started writing in my livejournal again. I became even closer with my parents. My dog and my friends saved my life. |
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| Think I Won the Lottery... |
[Sep. 8th, 2008|10:09 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | secret... | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | excited | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Uness | ] |
Bo and I went to Sean's birthday party in South Seattle last night. I saw Kermie for the first time in soooooo long! I miss him terribly. Afterwards, Bo convinced me to go to Zig Zag Cafe with him, where he introduced me to a "Trident". It was the strongest drink I've ever experienced. All in all, it was a successful evening...even though I didn't get home until 2:30am and had to wake up at 6 to do inventory at the store. boo.
I won't say I'm happy for the choices I made in the past, but I'm definitely not regretting any of them. Because had I not made such choices, I wouldn't be who I am today and I wouldn't have such incredible people in my life. I do wish I could take back the hurt I caused, but really, when we hurt we're reminded that we're human and (as Natalie Portman says in Garden State), that's life and it fucking hurts sometimes. I'm a firm believer in this statement; "When one door closes, a better one opens." Maybe I changed that up a lil bit...
I haven't felt butterflies like this in such a long time..."You're in my head like a dumb song"
You're at my house you're in my clothes
No one knows, knows.
You're in my head like a dumb song
It just goes, goes.
You're on my lips and on my face
And it shows, shows.
I should be happy and I am
I want you close to me.
You're like a simile, like totally.
You're like a deep sleep to an insomniac.
You're like the ocean floor, vast and cool.
You're like a swimming pool, but not as blue.
And I fell in, so take my hand, and swim around.
Kiss me hard, until I drown.
I wanna be your shirt,
So I can hug you while you work.
I wanna be your wife,
So you can beat me every night.
You're like a toothpick to teeth, mintiful.
You're like a metaphor for something else.
You're like a teen flick soundtrack.
You're sharper than a ginsu thumbtack, you cut my can.
So say you're mine, I'll give you back.
Take these hands, they'll squeeze back.
I wanna be your shirt,
So I can hug you while you work.
I wanna be your wife,
So you can beat me every night.
I wanna be your girl,
So you can hold me like your girl.
I wanna be your shrink,
So I'll get paid to watch you think
<3<3
PS - Bo was talking to me about Buddhism last night, and how basically all it is is this: "Let everything go. Never hold a grudge. At the end of the day, don't fucking worry about it, because ya know what? You're still fucking alive, and that's pretty fucking cool." We added in the profanities for effect... |
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| Smitten Kitten |
[Sep. 6th, 2008|09:46 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Work...still | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | giggly | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Elliot Smith | ] |
I love my family
I love my friends
I love my job
I love my dog
I love my life... |
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| NEW HAIR/PUPPY/CRUSH |
[Aug. 10th, 2008|11:14 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | w o r k | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | sad | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Mayday Parade | ] |
MY HAIR IS SOO LONG!!!! And it's all real, kids :) no more extensions for Miss Mentos.
MEET LUCAS, MY PUPPY/BEST FRIEND/LIFE
Kristi moved yesterday. This is the second time I've come home to find my roommate/best friend's things gone...and it never gets easier :(
Thank God for my puppy. He's pretty much all I've got now.
I miss home. I miss Astoria.
Warped Tour was amazing. I haven't been in so long. I went with Greg and Kasey, and met up with Stu and Chris. Stu is way too good to me...VIP pass was completely uncessary but very much appreciated. Say Anything and Mayday Parade definitely sounded best from backstage ;) Speaking of backstage, I ran into Bridget during Say Anything!! It was such a happy surprise! I love that girl.
I also love new crushes :) This one could be big.
"And I'm burning all the letters, hoping that I might forget him and his bad taste, that he left when he was leaving me, a life of barely breathing as he walked out of this place,
And I hope this makes you happy now,
That the flame we had is burning out
And I hope you like your pictures facing down
As even broken hearts may have their doubts
And I'm taking all your memories off the shelf
And I don't need you or anybody else
So take a look at me,
See what you want to see
When you get home"
 |
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| "ALL AT ONCE" listen and learn. |
[Jul. 27th, 2008|01:17 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | work. | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  melancholy | ] |
Bo's birthday was last night. Since I was too afraid of having another breakdown if I drank, I volunteered to be D.D.
The War Room didn't work out, so we ended up at Peso's all night. I forgot how to flirt. I forgot how to make conversation with a guy that I don't know very well...and who is also really cute. It's so different.
It was a fun night and much needed.
PS - I look bomb today. |
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